Eunuchs and Other Deviants (4th Sunday of Easter; Acts 8:26-39; May 7, 2017)

Eunuchs and Other Deviants

4th Sunday of Easter
Acts 8:26-39
May 7, 2017

Rev. John M. Caldwell, PhD
First United Methodist Church
Decorah, Iowa

Jerusalem was famous for its Temple dedicated to the strange, invisible God of the Jews. Herod the Great had remodeled the Temple and greatly expanded the Temple area. It was beautiful by all accounts. Of course it was visited by Jews from all over the Graeco-Roman world, but it was also visited by gentiles like this Ethiopian.

From far away he had heard about Jerusalem and thought that it was worth a trip. This nameless official in the court of the queen of Ethiopia was not alone in thinking that. Many travelers in the ancient world wanted to visit religious sites and sacred places. Given the number of gods worshiped and the stories told about them that were often set in places that people could visit, there was plenty to see.

There were a variety of reasons for this kind of travel. At one end of a range of possibilities were people motivated by a tourist's desire to see something unusual. At the other end there were those went for what we would have to call religious reasons. Where this eunuch fit along that spectrum we can only speculate.

Perhaps like many, he was attracted to the God of the Jews. The Jewish God was free from the sort of scandal that stuck to the Roman gods. Yahweh didn't kidnap beautiful young women or men for his own pleasure. He didn't commit adultery with the wives of other gods. That was strange to Greek and Romans. Also strange to them--and oddly attractive at the same time--was that Yahweh not only demanded worship, but also ethical behavior from the covenant people. There was a whole list of things they must or must not do. The Greco-Romans gods typically didn't really care much about what people did to each other as long as they got the appropriate sacrifices.

Some would have become devotees of the Jewish God, but there were barriers in the way. For one thing, the Jewish God refused to allow the worship of other gods. That would have made life hard for the rich and powerful because so much of civic life revolved around pagan religious observances. The dietary restrictions seemed silly: What in the world was wrong with eating bacon? or shellfish? or horse meat? And last, but for the men, far from the least of all, there was the matter of circumcision. The social life of upper class Greco-Roman men often involved the public baths that were so important to Roman culture everywhere. The notion of a man volunteering to be mutilated in a way that would become a matter of public knowledge was scandalous.

But, if they were not interested in actually becoming Jewish, there were many men and women who were certainly willing to imitate the life of the covenant people as far as they could.

The Ethiopian eunuch had been to Jerusalem, had seen the Temple and the related sights. He had picked up some souvenirs from his trip, among them a copy of the Book of Isaiah, perhaps in Greek translation. He was reading it in the back seat of his limousine. Well, okay, he was reading it in his carriage. He found it hard to read. So much of it seemed to have, or at least allow for, multiple meanings.

At this point he was clearly a man who was attracted to the Jewish God and to the life of this God's people on some level. At least on his way home he was more than an idly curious tourist. Perhaps he was on his way to becoming a God-fearer. Perhaps he was already there. But he could not become a Jew. And not because of the reasons that I mentioned earlier, however strong those reasons may have been. Even if he were willing to limit his worship to the Jewish God. Even if he were willing to follow the dietary laws. Even if he were willing to undergo circumcision, there was something else in the way: he was a eunuch and as a eunuch he was not allowed to be a part of the "assembly" of God's people. The prohibition is found in Deuteronomy:

No man whose testicles are crushed or whose penis is cut off can belong to the Lord’s assembly.¹

No eunuchs, in other words, need apply. No matter how much this eunuch studied Isaiah, no matter how generous or compassionate he was, no matter how ardent a defender of the Jewish community he was, no matter how devoted he was to God, there was no place for him among the people of God. He was cut off. Pun intended.

Now, if he had read far enough in the Book of Isaiah, he might have come across this hint that this exclusion might not be forever:

Don’t let the immigrant who has joined with the Lord say, “The Lord will exclude me from the people.” And don’t let the eunuch say, “I’m just a dry tree.” The Lord says: To the eunuchs who keep my Sabbaths, choose what I desire, and remain loyal to my covenant. In my temple and courts, I will give them a monument and a name better than sons and daughters. I will give to them an enduring name that won’t be removed. My house will be known as a house of prayer for all peoples, says the Lord God, who gathers Israel’s outcasts. I will gather still others to those I have already gathered.²

There in Isaiah, the very scroll he is reading, is the promise that whatever the current barriers to a eunuch or an immigrant taking part in the whole of the life of the people of God, God is determined to overcome them. But would the eunuch have regarded that promise as something he would experience in the present or as applying only to the still-distant future? We don't know.

What we do know is that, while puzzling over the meaning of these strange writings expressing the character of a strange God, the eunuch was joined by Philip. Philip ran alongside the carriage and heard the eunuch reading aloud (like almost everyone did in those days). Philip was surprised to hear that the man was reading from Isaiah.

Philip offered himself as an interpreter of the text and the eunuch invited him to ride along with him. The eunuch was reading the rather famous text from Isaiah 53, that introduces the so-called "suffering servant" of Yahweh. Interpretation of it was hotly contested. Is II Isaiah referring to himself or to some other individual? Or does this refer to the whole of Judah newly returned from exile whose suffering has in some sense become redemptive? Or does it refer to Messiah in some way? Christians, Philip among them, have typically preferred the third reading. So, Philip told the eunuch about Jesus and pointed to other texts that could be seen as having been fulfilled in his life, death, and resurrection.

As they passed by a place with water, the eunuch saw it and asked Philip, "What would keep me from being baptized?"

Of course, Philip could have said, "I'm sorry, my friend, but you don't qualify for baptism because you're a eunuch." It's not as if Philip couldn't have known this simply by looking at the man. In the ancient world, bright young slave boys were castrated so that they might enter civil or domestic service. The expense of the procedure and of the training were well worth it in the increased value of the slave. As these boys grew, they never developed the typical characteristics of men: deepened voices, body and facial hair, and a higher level of lean muscle mass. While there were arguments to the contrary, the consensus was that these men were less likely to cause trouble in a household--whether the home of a wealthy citizen or the palace of a queen--especially if their work brought them in contact with women a great deal.

Philip could have raised objections. But that's not what Philip did. Philip could have refused baptism. But that's not what Philip did. He didn't "pray on it." He didn't ask the other apostles at the next cluster meeting. He didn't consult the Book of Discipline. He didn't ask his bishop's permission. He didn't form a commission.

He didn't warn the mutilated Ethiopian that, while he could certainly be a part of the Christian assembly, there were certain places in the life of the God's people where he would not be welcomed. He could be baptized. He could come to the Table. He could give his money. He could sing in the choir where, in fact, his soprano voice might well be cherished. He could serve on committees and boards. He could be the chairperson of the Ad Council. He could even be the Lay Member of Annual Conference. But under no circumstances could he be ordained as a leader of community even if every sign of the Spirit's blessing were obvious to everyone in the community. If he managed to get ordained, when discovered he would be put on trial, and his credentials would be stripped.

He didn’t say any of that. As far as we know he didn't even think any of that. He didn't hesitate, hem, or haw. He went down into the water with the Ethiopian and baptized him into the assembly of the followers Jesus of Nazareth, into the body of the people of the Way, into the Church--our Church, the same one into which all of us have been admitted by virtue of that same baptism.

This is a pattern in the book of Acts: every time there is a question about whether a person or a group should be excluded or included into the full life of the people of the God of Jesus, every time the choice is to include them. Every time. Every time.

At its best, the church today makes the same choices. When you come to the table desiring to meet up with God's love, we do not quiz you on your knowledge and acceptance of the Apostles' or Nicaean or Chalcedonian creeds. We do not check your photo IDs and your membership cards to see whether you belong. We do not ask if you have been castrated or mutilated. We do not ask what party you belong to. We do not ask whether you are conservative or liberal, alt-right or progressive. We do not ask whether you watch FoxNews or MSNBC or even PBS. We don't ask if you're rich or if you're poor. We don't ask if you are queer or straight or neither. We don't ask if you're young or old. We don't ask your race. We don't ask how much education you have. We don't ask what gender you identify with. We don't ask whether you're a Methodist or not.

We ask only these things: Do you want the life of a follower of Jesus? And do you need the nourishment that is offered here?

And if the answers to those two questions are Yes, then there is, to paraphrase the Ethiopian, nothing to prevent you from coming. And when you come, when anyone comes, we will welcome you all every time. Every time. Every time.

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1 Deut. 23:1.

2 Isaiah 56:3-8.